We few good men who cook
To the men out there as dull and unimpressive as myself, listen carefully – this could be your killer edge.
To the women reading this, don’t let the working title throw you. I am about to shed some light on a current predicament that frankly, concerns you as well.
Now that I have your attention, I would like to draw you all (men and women alike) to consider a certain holiday that has in the past, not at all done justice to some of us men. Each February, it arrives as smugly as the day Saint Valentine himself conceived it. Yes, I speak of a most ghastly state of affairs called V-day.
“Ghastly?!” you say
Let me explain…
Each year hundreds of optimistic, yet seemingly unimpressive young men must dig deeper and deeper into their most unfortunate repertoires of courage to ask one of you young ladies on a date. Gone are the days when men were men – when fixing an engine carburetor and hanging the dish towels could impress a woman. Now it seems women are more impressed by guys who can dress well, boast impressive bodies, or sing like a budding Bruno Mars.
…As for myself? I represent the small constituency of us men who do neither.
Like some of you men, I can hardly carry a tune in a bucket, much less carry a bucket at all. I’m of the firm belief that you “dress how you feel” rather than “feel how you dress”, and a back injury a year ago has left me somewhat lacking in the fitness department.
I can, for whatever reason, however; cook – and darn well I might add. And while this does little to compensate for my other social and physical impediments, it gives me some small pleasure.
But I suppose I should come clean altogether.
I understand the culinary secrets of the Italian risotto, the Indian biryani, and the Greek Moussaka, but I cannot for the life of me understand the obscure mind of a woman. I know all the items and ingredients that go into a Penne Arrabiata, but I haven’t the faintest idea what goes into a woman’s purse.
In short, if no one kissed the cook, I would most likely be out of luck.
To my male viewers, if you’re reading this and nodding along slowly, then you too share my predicament. You are one among countless men around the world who simply do not know the way to a woman’s heart.
But take heart you fearless few, my comrades in culinary awesomeness. For this day – V day, need not bring us troubles. We have the opportunity to really impress. Whether you’re a pro star iron chef or you struggle making a decent grilled cheese, you too are in luck.
I am about to share with you a little secret to culinary ecstasy. And its name is SORTED.
SORTED was created by 4 university graduates who one night decided that students like you deserve far better than frozen dinners and cold pizza to satisfy your cravings. With 2 frying pans, 3 knives, and a never say die attitude, they started a youtube channel featuring easy recipes for just about anyone to follow.
Their mission? “To get people back into the kitchen – cooking quick, simple, tasty grub with their mates. All heavily seasoned with plenty of banter”.
And that they do. Receiving hundreds of responses from university students around the world, these 4 guys cook up a storm and put Chinese take-out to shame. Witness cooking at its best.
SORTED even features the best of its recipes in its featured cookbooks:
1) A Rookie’s Guide to Crackin’ Cooking: A straightforward, no-nonsense cookery book that explains some of the core skills and simple recipes to give every novice cook the chance to look like a pro-star
2) A Recipe for Student Survival: Centred on the important recipes needed for healthy living at university; transforming even the most inept student zombie into a domestic master chef.
Below you can find links to recipes, tips and tricks, spice rack 101, and the works!
This valentine’s, surprise your date with something different! SORTED even features a few of the perfect valentine recipes that are sure to impress and really can’t go wrong. So what are you waiting for? Wield a frying pan with some furious skills and really make this a night to remember. A few scented candles from the dollar store, some 1989 Chateau Lafite, and an album of Michael Bublé’s greatest hits. Voila, dinner is served.